Vampire spring break

By Lucianne Poole




See if you can spot an ancient Egyptian on the beach in Rimini, Italy, one of Europe's most famous seasides. By L. Poole.

It's almost that time of year again: spring break.

I wasn't planning to but I've generously succumbed to my characters' demands for a spring break. Apparently, vampires and ancient Egyptians get the winter blahs, too.

Assuming I will have to resolve any trouble (such as centuries-old feuds and holiday romances) they get into, I anticipate being off-line for a while.

So, thanks for reading my humble offerings, and I should materialize back here sometime in April.

Where do you (or the monsters in your life) go for spring break?

Nine rules of reincarnation

By Lucianne Poole

Here's a list of reincarnation "rules" that I gleaned from various sources while researching for my urban fantasy novel, The Obsession Begins.

According to The Concise Oxford Dictionary, to reincarnate (verb) means to bring the soul of (person) into another body after death.

In particular, my novel relates to rule number nine: sometimes it's better to avoid people from your previous lives!

1. Every reincarnation gets you a new physical self, but your subconcious awareness contains knowledge of your soul and past life memories. From Discovering Your Past Lives by Gloria Chadwick
2. Often a person will resemble their former self, especially the eyes or the expression in the eyes. From Old Souls: Scientific Evidence for Past Lives by Tom Shroder
3. A birthmark could signify injuries or means of death from a prior life. From Old Souls: Scientific Evidence for Past Lives by Tom Shroder
4. We all have abilities far beyond what we use. From Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian L. Weiss
5. Check your vices (eg. greed, lust, etc) in the present life or you'll carry them over to another life. From Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian L. Weiss
6. With each life you go through and don't fulfill your debts, the next one will be harder. If you fulfill your debts, your next life will be easier. From Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian L. Weiss
7. When you have a problem with people or relationships, it is almost always due to negative karma you created in a past life. From Discovering Your Past Lives by Gloria Chadwick
8. What you do to another person in a past life and in your present life, will come back to you until it is resolved. From Discovering Your Past Lives by Gloria Chadwick
9. You may sometimes recognize someone from the past, but it can be a bad person, someone to avoid. From Past Lives, Future Healing by Sylvia Browne

What or who were you in a past life? Feel free to be perfectly honest or outrageous (as the mood takes you).

A Little Romance

By Lucianne Poole

Everyone wants to be loved, especially on Valentine's Day. That's when the illusion of love becomes particularly beguiling.

Ottawa photographer Maria Vartanova beautifully captures young love in this photo, but is it fact or fiction?

In fact, it's a scene from Arthur Miller's All My Sons. The play was performed at the Ottawa Little Theatre in January 2013 as part of its 100th season.

So if you are without a valentine on Valentine's Day, don't despair: call a loved one eg. your mom and be grateful for real love!



My anticlimactic bike accident

By Lucianne Poole

I wrote this prose poem years ago when I was stuck in the humbling limbo that finds new and unemployed university graduates living with their parents in the 'burbs.

I fell off my bike today
On my parent's driveway.
I grazed my knee.
The flesh unbroken
but angry red.
My mother picked up my bike
and pumped up the tires.
I got back on
and peddled tentatively.
It was easier to balance.
I am 23.

Have you ever been involved in a mildly humiliating bike accident?

11 signs that your colleague is a vampire

By Lucianne Poole

In keeping with my vampire book, The Shadow Service (a tale of vampires working in Canada's federal government), I'm providing a public service (you're welcome) by sharing these signs that you may be working with a vampire:



1. Over-enthusiasm about office skating parties or other events in which bloodshed may be likely.
2. Unusual habits such as hanging upside down in storage closets.
3. General dislike of Middle Eastern food and any other cuisine containing copious amounts of garlic.
4. Compulsive use of breath mints to hide bad breath.
5. Preference for archaic swear words, possibly in dead languages eg. "Thou knave!" or "God's wounds!"
6. Empty blood packs in the kitchen garbage.
7. High number of absentee staff (i.e. they're too weak or too dead from having their blood sucked).
8. Multiple invitations for a "bite to eat".
9. Glazed expression and salivation at close proximity when you wake up from your post-lunch nap.
10. Use of telepathic communication instead of email (this also explains your mysterious headaches).
11. Long incisors, which may or may not be hidden by expensive dental work.

Disclaimer: If your suspected colleague only meets one of the above criteria, it's unlikely he/she is undead. However, if your colleague meets all the above criteria, that's a different story (good luck).

Why do you suspect your co-worker of being a vampire? Feel free to share suspicious traits.

Writing Contest Mania . . . a preview of the novel

By Lucianne Poole

Ancient Egyptians used the wedjat eye to ward off evil.

You may (or may not) have wondered about the novel I've been blathering about in regards to the Writing Contest Mania posts. So, here's an excerpt.

The genre is urban fantasy (or paranormal) and blends historical fiction and romance. It's a dark tale of reincarnation and obsession that begins in ancient Egypt and continues in modern-day New York City.

 

 

1862 B.C.

Itjtawy, capital of the Two Kingdoms (ancient Egypt) 

Threads of smoke curled from under the closed double doors. Screams of terror filled the air and running feet shook the floor.

 Anhai flinched as the queen seized her arm.

“This is your only chance,” the queen hissed, her hennaed fingertips biting into Anhai's flesh. They stood alone inside a chamber off the harem hall. “The palace is in an uproar. You should be able to slip away unnoticed, but if anyone catches you, I swear by Isis, I will kill you myself.” She abruptly released Anhai, making the girl stumble.

Anhai regained her balance and bowed gracefully, her ragged appearance at odds with her noble bearing.

"Fool! You must cower like a slave if the disguise is to work," the queen snapped.

“May the goddess reward you for your kindness, Your Majesty,” the girl replied tremulously. Rising, she pulled her filthy shawl closer to hide her face and the gold amulet that hung from her neck. It was a wedjat eye to ward off evil – the only piece of jewelry she dared to keep, needed to keep.

The queen’s cat-like eyes glinted. "Now, get out!"

Hatred contorted the queen's delicate features, giving them a feral quality. Perhaps the rumours about the beast and her royal highness were true. Still, Anhai hesitated. The road ahead could bring death, but . . . no, better to risk her life than return to his bed.

To be continued . . .

Let me know what you think, and what genres of novel you read (eg. thriller, mystery, romance, etc.).

Lost and found list

By Lucianne Poole

Here is an incomplete list of items I found (and left!) in a box next to a Staples photocopier on March 30, 2006. Think of this list as a cautionary tale ie. check the photocopier when you're done.

1. One maroon passport printed in Arabic
2. One marriage certificate, dated 2005 (Picton, Ontario)
3. One wedding photograph
4. One list of frequently asked questions about evolution downloaded from the Internet
5. One mental health assessment
6. One worn paperback entitled Feel the Fear and Do it Anyways by Susan Jeffers, PhD
7. One handwritten bill for a $245.00 lock from Avenue Lock on Bank Street
8. One certificate for 100 shares in 11351320 Ontario Limited, dated November 19, 1999.
9. One T4 slip for the 2005 tax year
10. One collection of recipes, including one for Scottish raisin scones, handwritten in a journal printed with a Lord of the Rings motif and entitled A Hobbit’s Travels.
11. One current Ontario drivers license

A note was attached to the box: “Originals should be discarded after two months”.

I submitted this list to Geist magazine, which publishes such ephemera, but they never replied.

Have you ever found anything interesting in a photocopier?